


loves me, loves me not

by esnoyuuutsu



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: BECAUSE MYSTERY IS LIKE THAT I GUESS, Gen, Implied Incest, M/M, Murder, Play Characters, The Master Likes a Mystery, so you all get this, stage ver made me like sagishima and i gotta cope with it somehow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:54:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26436790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esnoyuuutsu/pseuds/esnoyuuutsu
Summary: The flowers in the Tojos' garden have their own names, their own meanings. One of them belongs to a different home, speaks in the voice of another family.It may have been the younger Kusanagi who passed on, but it's the elder that continues to haunt them.
Relationships: Arisugawa Homare & Mikage Hisoka, Mikage Hisoka/Yukishiro Azuma, Tojo Shiki (A3!)/Kusanagi Shizuma (A3!)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	loves me, loves me not

**Author's Note:**

> YA BOY IS BACK WITH ANOTHER ESUTE INFLUENCED FIC god i haven't stopped thinking about mystery except for like a break for a couple hours to die over noct. help me. stage ver said i specifically have rights and i now have to repay my blood debt as twitter and ao3 user esnoyuuutsu by getting possessed to write at 4am

The same scent of flowers wafts through the courtyard as it has for the past days, weeks, months. Not quite so morbid as, say, asphodel, or poppies, flowers of death and the underworld; but since that incident Sagishima hasn’t been able to look at coleus the way he used to—dark red crawls through the leaves like blood soaking into the pavement, new flowers blooming a cruel reminder of life lost.

It isn’t the same in the young master’s eyes either.

_ “Sagishima. You’re more knowledgeable with the...plants, flowers.” Shiki waved a hand in the direction of the garden. “Is it possible to have some of those flowers in the garden? You know, those ones.” _

_ “Coleus, you mean?” Sagishima didn't need to ask why. “I believe so. Shall I make some arrangements?” _

_ Shiki nodded. “I’ll leave it to you.” His knuckles are turning white from how tightly he’s clutching the book Shizuma lent him. _

_ You should take better care of that, Sagishima thought. The person who gave it to you was your friend, was he not? _

_ He said nothing and left. _

The scent has long faded from the bookmark, though it still keeps its place within the book's dog-eared pages.

Sagishima tells the rest of the housekeepers to leave the book alone on the shelf, untouched. The young master is picky, you see, if you move things about too much, he'll make a fuss. There's nothing but near parental affection in his voice when he explains Master Shiki is still a bit of a child, even now; but what Sagishima doesn't mention is how he once flipped through that book, only to have even his sturdy unshakable heart gain a crack or two at seeing the ink starting to run letters together from tears staining the pages.

_ "Master Shiki...surely you must have every word in that book memorised by now? You've read it cover to cover countless times." _

_ Shiki turned further away from Sagishima in his chair, a show of just how much he was refusing to listen, a habit he'd never outgrown. _

_ "There  _ are _ other books in the world, you know." _

_ It was a bad habit of his own, Sagishima being unable to hold his tongue, but it did the trick—Shiki carefully closed the book, setting it down on his desk. _

_ "...you knew from the very beginning," he said, still not facing Sagishima. _

_ "I did not keep this from you." A lie. _

_ Shiki looked up at him, once. "Hm." He picked the book back up, and continued reading where he'd left off. _

_ As he turned away, Sagishima quietly walked up to the desk, taking the bookmark from its hiding place in his coat pocket, and placing it clearly in view before leaving the room. _

Did he do his job incorrectly?

Would it have been kinder to tear away the bandage from the start, rather than let the illusion of friendship flourish in Shiki's mind, causing him more pain? Even in the end, Sagishima let Shizuma believe that it was Shiki who shared his interest in flower language, that he was the one who understood his silent message, pointless as Sagishima’s efforts were by then to have them get along.

It's Sagishima's duty to look after Shiki and keep him safe, and he wants to believe he's doing as he should. But the master is a lonely boy, so can he truly be blamed for a moment of weakness?

_ How upsetting it was to see his own motives in a murderer. _

_ Twisted as Shizuma's heart must have been, Sagishima couldn't help but understand the need to have what he thought was best for someone he loves, though it might not be in quite the same way. _

_ Was that then why he offered Shizuma some words of comfort—not for Shizuma himself, who could have surely figured out a way to call off the engagement without resorting to murder as both he and his sister were above Keiichi’s standing, but to justify his own actions? For if Miss Kusanagi gladly accepted death at her brother’s hands, Shiki too must have enjoyed the time he was allowed in those same arms. _

_ As it was, he should have put an end to Shiki’s play-investigation from the second he realised that Shizuma was the murderer, but who was he to break his master’s heart—as much as it may have been delaying the inevitable. Whether they wanted it to happen or not, Shiki’s blinding giddy schoolgirl grin every time Shizuma would glance in his direction would turn into heartache coupled with wide-eyed horror, his voice cracking as Shizuma’s name left his lips. _

_ For a moment, as Shizuma turned himself in, he looked back, golden eyes unreadable. Shiki stared back at him, weakly stumbling forward before stopping in his tracks as Shizuma was taken away. _

_ A cold wind rushed past, but Sagishima didn’t have the heart to tell Shiki that Shizuma’s mournful gaze was not for him. _

Sagishima turns a blind eye to what Shiki seems to think is inconspicuous—leaving the house on his own on the same day at the same time every few weeks to fruitlessly visit Shizuma in prison—only sending off one of the other servants to trail him, knowing that Shiki would notice, as a reminder that his actions are not unnoticed.

Every time, he asks to see Shizuma.

Every time, he’s turned away.

Youth is fickle—if Sagishima attempts to be direct and cut him off, Shiki will only become more persistent. Not only is he dumber than a dog, he’s a lovesick puppy—slinking after the object of his affections, tail between his legs.

The one who died that day was the younger Kusanagi, but the elder haunts their household like the spirit his appearance would suggest he truly is; his presence in Shiki’s mind known yet unspoken, the scent that once enveloped him now filling the air of the study.

_ Do you know what the flower meaning for coleus is? _

_ A love that cannot be. _

_ One soaked in desperation. _

_ An innocent heart, stained by blood-red despair. _

Sagishima tends to the plants, some of the leaves coming off in his gloved hands. Seasons turn and flowers wither, and no life lasts forever; perhaps someday the mystery that so entranced the young master will fade away too.

**Author's Note:**

> hello. i am suffering. i'd like to specifically thank [lazusakuya](https://twitter.com/lazusakuya) because she's the one who really brought sagi and shiki being like sibling to the front of my brain and the comparison between sagi being weirdly supportive of shiki's crush (listen...he's all cute and giggly talking to shizu don't @ me) and shizu doing. that. to his sis. yeah. i. yep! okay!
> 
> anyway a3 stage is good. we don't deserve it.
> 
> i'm @esnoyuuutsu on twt too!!


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